amidst of anguish and rage

I stop the world and melt alone

2009-10-24T23:54:00.002+08:00

I sleep all day, over. damn.its the worst thing a beautiful creature on earth would do. but it's so relaxing to lie down in my bed dreaming, wondering and drowning my self into the milkyway of worries and happiness.

Indeed, i wasted my one day salary [under] pay. In a tick of that little long hand, takes my mind into places and time. Where universe collide. No bounderies. No Speed Limit.Going nowhere but here.

This melt down helped me take my little step, to huge hope for better days.
EMOTERA

Fete Dela Musique 2009 - Line Up

2009-06-10T09:42:00.000+08:00

POP / ALTERNATIVE
(Metrowalk Center Plaza)

Stonefree
Mayonnaise
Danita Paner
Alamid
Mike's Apartment
December Avenue
Armas
Gasulina
Chilities
Shift
Itchyworms
Circa
Uries Attack
The Camerawalls
The Out Of Body Special
Manila Bus
The Charmes
Salamin
Enemies of Saturn
Ephesus
Purple Chickens
Callalily
Alibata
Chubibo
The Bernadettes
Corporate Lo-fi
Dice And K-9
Burning Bush

JAZZ

Yosha
Sinosikat
Brass Munkey
Elea And Jazz
Jazzin' Project

ROCK/METAL
(Metrowalk Parking Lot)

Badburn
Witchtreesymbol
Final Vow
Hilera
Piledriver
Eternal Now
Fastpitch
The Ambassadors
The Youth
Intolerant
cog
Valley Of Chrome
sin
starscream
typecast
ginrum and truth
katoliko
ixion
april morning skies
bloodshedd
blue boy bites back
campbell
oremuz
angulo
maryzark
imbue no kudos

WORLD/FOLK
(Aruba)

syalam
bandang malaya
brigada
peryodiko
kadangyan
republika de lata
the chonkeys

ELECTRONICA/GOTH/NEW WAVE
(Metro Phi Bar)

switch
the edralins
turbo goth
taken by cars
skies of ember
tether
funeral frost
scarlet tears
the lowtechs
pedicab
us-2, evil-0
funcity boys

REGGAE/SKA
(Love To Laugh)

Tropical depression
reggae mistress
juan pablo dream
skabeche
sagor
coffee break island
Bambu Spliff
Pink Cow
Jeepney joyride
neighbors
tango bitoy
peace pipe
collie herb

CLASSICAL
(Starbucks)

BLUES
(Elbow Room)

snake charmer
blue jean junkies
joniver
bembol rockers
nicole and carlo
playphonics
house of raven
dr. crowley
lady high

HIP-HOP/RNB
(Mugen Bar)

Pamilya di magiba
mike swift / j.hon
cd automatic
krazykyle
sinag
people's future
ill-j

http://www.rakista.com/viewtopic.php?f=981&t=36527#p1082728

Worry Not

2009-05-15T07:36:00.004+08:00

Feb 18 '09

Just when you know you wanted to handle things plain and simple,
the situation and people correlates around you seems complicate everything..
while you sought to make others happy then abruptly you hurt them maybe involuntary
but still you’ve created pain.

Don’t worry the bottom line is because you care

Unexpectedly it turns out the other way around.
Unexpectedly you made a mistake.

Don’t worry we’re all not perfect.

Just when you assume you already gave your finest shot
But still not enough
And so you feel worned out, has nothing to give.
Has nothing to prove, a total loser.

Don’t worry, God has a plan

Everything has reason, still try.
And when you anticipated being just real
But afterward you found out it’s a big piece of phony shit.
Feeling intimidated, feeling gibberish.

Worry Not, you’re worthy enough to be needed by others.

Fotget the Missing

2009-01-27T21:21:00.003+08:00

Do you ever think about me..
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep...
Are you calling out my name?
Ohh.. Forget Him
Forget his name, Forget his face
Forget his kiss
His warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Remember he has some one new
Forget him when they played your song
Remember when you cried all night long
Forget how close you are together
Remember he has chosen her
Forget how you memorized his walk
Forget the things he used to say
Remember he has gone away
Forget his love forget his grin
Forget the dimples on his chin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he's with her tonight
Forget the time went so fast
Forget the love that moved its past
Forget he said he'd leave you never
Remember he's gone forever

satin thin patience

2008-11-28T09:31:00.004+08:00

Before I jump off the bus heading to Cubao Araneta Terminal, my head spinning into some circumstances. I might find my life so miserable and painful for the long year of 2008 but all hope wasn't gone with the wind. I might take those struggles by running the circles and for sure no regret.

It's kinda hard for me to forgive people who hurt me this much. Giving me life this year soaked in my anger, marinated with pain and vengeance because of them. And, i swear I'm not over it. And if those spices makes me feel normal and complete, still i wanna take my step to something that might change what I used to want.

This crisps and the juice of my existence is all I can offer, the delight belongs to people i love the most. I might hated you and still finding my readiness to forgive, Nor loved you so please savor the sweetness that life can offer.

The need to take away all the angst and take 'em off me.

"Patience, come near me coz i been missing you. I might need yah anytime. I might change my name for yah. I might soak myself in stop my world for yah. For now, please just wait."

surviving the fears i owned

2008-09-16T12:24:00.004+08:00

"when the things gone wrong and all you have is anger..in an instant things will be forever mistake"

Once the words released it will never be yours..
been in a worst silent fight this weekend. almost died to leave alone without my baby. seems like water fading under the heat of the sun, Can't do anything but wait..wait..wait for the rain to save me.

I am about to give up the life i choose to live, I can't imagine myself not with my baby johan. I even decided to stay (with this fear to his dads attitude) just to take away the tears in my baby's eyes. I don't feel anything but pain. Phobia is embracing me. Bone is weaken by raging fears.

Am i being loved or what? I don't seek for love I guess. Just respect.

I'm cryin' out for help.

365 days counting in US Autoparts

2008-08-22T12:25:00.003+08:00

The 365 days of being here in US Autoparts is a long struggle,proving that i am in a fight and "giving up" has no room as long as I exist.

From Being a subdued Senior Data Analyst to Assistant Analyst, IR harvest and memo to victor accomplishment, 5% Self Esteem to 100% trust from big boss, from bloody nightmare to bright Morning Light.

I am not so sure if I owned the so called fulfillment but I guess I have a lot to give and still sharing.

Thanks to Big Boss for entrusting me these team, these category. For helping me win the confidence.

my response for SONA 2008 - Dear Mrs. President

2008-07-28T23:48:00.005+08:00

"Dear Mr. President"
Pink
Featuring: Indigo Girls Lyrics
Songwriters: Mann, Billy; Moore, Alecia B;

Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would You?

--- and after the SONA 2008, all I can sing now is this song...perfect just for you

The Joker spares me some courage..

2008-07-25T15:40:00.010+08:00

Got out of the theatre at 7:45PM with RC and whew It’s raining outside.I decided to indulge the trill of the Joker. And yeah, now I know why I love rage and bliss. It makes me complete. I think I need to barrow his knife to put a smile on my face every single lone moment. Its simple and clear, emotion is easy to deal with. Brain and Emotion can have team work, and anticipate for the finest.I laugh for I wasted my time the most for emotion I guess. I didn’t realize since the may 20, 1984 that I can handle things light when I wanted to.The Joker for sparing me some courage to face anger and joy again, to play with my fears and weaknesses while waiting for the surprise.Sweeney Teej(tjcafuir) missed to post review for The Dark Knight Flickside. Darn, I asked the Captain and he’s busy with so called WORK.I even asked him if he can play likeTHE JOKER.And guess what, Exceed the limit for Johnny Depp.

The Fight Is Over

2008-07-16T09:26:00.008+08:00

Urbandub

When the fighting is over
Coz our mouths have just run dry
As our feelings get colder
There is nothing to hold us now
Gave all this time
Just to be let down

Can you explain to me
What has become of us
With words released
We can never take them back
(For all that we're worth now)
Not even pleading can save us

I know you'll meet someone better
But would you still think of me
If he can't hold you like I did
Would you run back to me
Yes I know this pain shall pass
Gave all this time
Still we couldn't last

How could we end this
Way our promises thrown away
All the years we've built
Broken up see it crashing down
I have to say though alone
In this crazy sea of faces
It's still your face I wanna know

AlluRing dark side

2008-06-18T08:40:00.001+08:00

Just in time, when Tris (he’s in Sykes now) asked me how’s everything going on here in data was the moment I wasn’t feeling well. He suggested continuing the plan we had (to pay somebody to kick that bastard off of his dark plans in destroying his team member’s morale).

Yeah, true that anger will not fade but instead scar my being for the rest of my life (Same with Tris). We’re victims of badass attitude problem. The more often I saw the reason of this scar the more it reminds me of the pain. If that reason will not stop destroying my record here in the office well, no regret of fulfilling that dark side of vianca.

Really, I am asking for His guidance coz I promised not to take vengeance after saving me from that despair. I know this anger is alluring. Really, I am starving for badass agony.

It’s easier to put it here, easier to write than saying to somebody’s face.

But distressing to admit you’re all that I have this time, my anger.

"Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi"

2008-06-10T22:07:00.003+08:00

minutes ago i decided to read my old emails. and found this one.
feels like sharing 'em to you guys..

learn and be happy to whatevah type of realtionship you wanted.

"Parang Kayo, Pero Hindi"

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect.
They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but
remained to be "friends."

They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure
she's okay. They still date. They still have sex.

They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each
other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't
know the real score. Even

her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in
the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives
her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their
friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may
overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila
magkaholding hands lagi?

Sila kaya?

"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me.

Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch
movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books
for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex
jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and
never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she
heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing
she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's
assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers,
they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh
restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.

They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe
that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about
it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's
important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual
understanding। Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo- boyfriends.

Read more......

Radiance flame

2008-06-10T19:09:00.002+08:00

For the life i knew makes me feel so empty at the same time remarkable, i run out of strength during my roller coaster ride with careers and life's relationship. I lost my self esteem but a friend help me renew myself, lots of comrade help me regain my self-respect.

I don't heal my wounds I let em scar me, I don't wipe my tears instead let the sun and time dried my pains.

My silence now is crowded of worries of losing lots of important friend and noisier cause of flooding ideas and pressures. And my life now is definitely challenging.

Perhaps I have to face these changes and prove May that I can manage to savor the gift (equivalent exchange), hehe a price to pay.

I thank God for saving me always.

Whew!! I love may.

And June's giving me lots of small surprises. I must be ready for everyday's reward.

Anway.

I met Shane Evangelist (US Autoparts Network-CEO) I think two weeks ago..the funny conversation with him together with the smartest people of Marketing department (Sir Mike Villar n team, also Pink SEO Ma'am Riz Sanchez) boost the shy vianca into strong willed and continuous fighter. Thanks to them.

Shades of black

2008-06-07T19:07:00.003+08:00

---

Felt so tired…feeling wasted
I demand for rest but I don’t want to sleep
I demand for relaxing music but don’t have anybody to join me
I demand for silence but seems its nosier than what I’m expecting
I even wanted to run my life out of this exchange
Just for a minute or two
So I can breath deep and easy

But true… this is what I really wanted
Honestly I’m starting to fall in love it with this so called work..

Equivalent Exchange (no more escape mechanism)

2008-05-29T16:35:00.007+08:00

Wait…while am on a fast lane
I realized.
I didn’t pay much attention to simple things.
I missed the way wind blew cold breeze toward my chin
I can't recall how nice the heat of sun kisses me.
Or how the stars look like while scattered above the earth at night.

Just a moment ago i spent little time in terrace
where I used to waste my (yosi)break period in GY
maybe I’ve been missing bonding moments with my friends
or maybe I owned little qualm with my decision

but i believe what Alphonse Elric said “Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving
something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange.”
In every thing I wish to own, I should pay equal amount of penny to have ‘em.
No such thing as perfect decision.

I now, savor the taste of my answered prayers.

While on the top of the RCC center. No more city lights, Only bright sun.
No more pain, only Hope.
No more anger, only morbid vianca.
Haha. I guess im on a two way right track,
No need to drown myself under the rain
with a ticket for a runaway train.

new chapter: this is what prayers can do

2008-05-21T22:58:00.005+08:00

though the patience wearings thin. but as i pray.. felt like the answers rollin in..

I pretty much busy since last week.im in fast phase and even I hate bein in roller coaster but still my lifes changes now is definitely like am riding on it.

I was transferred to morning shift and different team. And hey this what I wanted, to be outta catprep outta misery and depression.

I am doin a very different task, working with different people and leader

But I’ll be missing Tristan, bernadetth and the rest of the catprep (except HIM)

Truly I am happy right now. All have to do now is let my capability to exceed the limit on my part.

By the way im 24 (last may 20) and things been working affectively..and perfect

Need to be careful with every decision to be made. i pray to ask for assistance.

Ill see you next time

redefine

2008-05-11T11:10:00.011+08:00

defining how dreams came true

TJ Cafuir

2008-05-08T17:30:00.005+08:00

Sweeney played a big part of my being,in every single pain and joy i have his a part of it..His blog inspires me a lot

my decision my life my self-esteem

and every time I need to boost my confidence..i just have to read the TJ Cafuir’s the life and times and Half the World Away.

And as he holds back my worth, as he trims down my anger, he keeps my emotion in balance

Whenever this vianca fell down, stumble and bruises covered.

All she needs to do was read over and over and over again the “dear vianca”, so she can regain in time and no need for forever to wait just to ease the pain.

Thanks a lot my friend . . . for helping me survive this one.

I know you don’t have any idea. But hey, it was you who helped me a lot.

crashed morbid

2008-05-03T19:55:00.002+08:00

..i wanna cry...
i just can't let this tears fall
seems like always dark inside and out..
..always cloudy..

sick and tired of this game...

2008-04-24T21:35:00.003+08:00

Its too hot in my pad, I can’t sleep
I was thinking what if …hmm
Head off to the office earlier was really a brilliant idea
And sleep there (hihihi)
I stayed in the girl’s quarter from 4:00 pm.
Damn, 4 hours earlier for my shift.
Felt bored to death.
I asked my friends in “data” to join me watch movie or something
Forbidden is now showing.
Unlucky I am. Nobody wants to join me. Hay….

I slept. Alone and was thinking of nobody. No social life na ako.
(putik walang trill)
I dreamt of jet li, the monkey king was grinning annoyingly.
Grrr…

I woke up at around 8:50pm.
My body’s like burning in hell.
And I’m not feeling well.
I’m sick but I decided to stay to work.

P.S.
A team mate will be leaving us soon. He passed sykes. Hey tris I’ll miss you for sure.
One of the jesters of the team, He makes us laugh all the time.
I guess. Nice move right?

I was wondering if tj’s team survived the “screwey dewey”. hmmm
I haven’t visited his page yet.

8 hours again …. What am Igoin' to do now?

2008-04-23T06:12:00.002+08:00

Cat. Prep Task : zero
Auto research : kinda boring & not in the mood to sort out auto news
Chat mode : putik wala man lang maasar. And take note I am not allowed to chat huhu
Post a blog entry: nyay! I can't, pass biers kept looking at my monitor ( makes me feel as if being spied on) pero pede.
Sound trip: stirring my sleepy hallows with rnb slow jamz and phunks.
Surfing the net: blog hopping (pretending that I was searching about cars har har)

BreaKING MomEnt:

#1 huwhat? He's getting married?!!

Grrrrrr. Savvy is getting married?? Err. Hated myself for not knowing it in time,
Hated myself so much 'cause I can't do anything na but to get jealous. (hehe parang tanga lang)
Yeah. Thanks to atomicgirl for the info. If not because of your post hindi ko malalaman.

#2 feeling SEO na rin ba ako?

vianca_Ü (4/22/2008 11:16:35 AM): pede restore ung stat ng server,,eh kng mdami kaung company around the world mag aapeal,.,kc parang back to basic n nmn.sisimula n nmn..dhil s testing testing...nwala pinaghirapan nyo. system restore sila sa date bgo ang dewey
sWÉnny Teej.. (4/22/2008 11:19:46 AM): wow
sWÉnny Teej.. (4/22/2008 11:19:46 AM): seo ka narin

we're discussing about the dewey test of google. Pang SEO ba pinagsasabi ko? hmm

Since 2004 I start posting blogs over blogdrive. I use ms.vianca there. Every other month I tried to google the keyword ms.vianca. Well I'm pretty sure im not the only vianca in this vast World Wide Web, but weeee…I always get real good result. My ms.vianca.blogdrive.com was in the top 5 result.

I was fooling myself. Why? I don't have so called readers. Haha. Ohh to be fair some commented telling me "hey ms.vianca you inspired me a lot". Amf.. did I?? Haha. I don't know.

Then, after how many years I tried it again. Googled ms.vianca, in a blast my multiply ranks #1. Well, I don't like my multiply though I signed up there because of my 'insan. Rank 2 is my blodrive ( I missed it). And yepeeyy blogspotbelongs to top 3, which my current blog.

Well, I tried reading old entries in my blogdrive. I was surprised, I didn't improved that much. Huhu. My bad. Seems like sayin "I'm stagnant". My style, my anger, my happy moments, my secret letters, lyrics and poems and approaches are just the same.

The results telling me that my blogs are dead. Meaning has no competitors (hihi) , no trill, definitely unique and near to extinct. Huhu. I don't have the talent for SEO or webcopy writing. damn I'm actually planning to change my career track coz my current path makes me feel stupid. hay, Care dead.

#3 halukayin. Pepsi paluma experiment's vocalist Ahmad.

I accidentally jump off to a blog named "emote control" by ahmad xiv. His post captured my interest. I scrolled up and down. Then read a poetic post. He was talking bout legazpi, whew!! he compiled my homesickness. I missed home. And the face, he looks familiar. Weee, the vocalist of pepsi paluma experiment. I'm a fan of pepsi paluma. Way back in college, during yearly OVERLOAD event of Bicol University engineering, I always find them rockin' there.

What small world huh?

Hmm.. Everytime I do blog hopping and find some bicolanos and Filipinos who write and blog remarkably. It flatters me. It encourage me to be the best blogger I could be.it makes me feel proud being in this place. (mabuhay..!!) har har

im back..im okay now. ready to post again. i missed the comrade in usap data & catalog morning shift.

i missed yoishiro. i missed sorsogon. i missed siblings and parents. i missed snhs batch 2001. i missed ADAKRABS. i missed smart noc people. i missed cousins.

ayan may nagawa na ako.... pero

ba't ang emo ko ngayon???

masked...obscured..

2008-04-22T20:48:00.002+08:00

unleashed.reveal my pain.let the darkness covered me.

Was looking in distant
Suddenly
Saw your face just in front of mine
Skeptical. Frozen cold by that stare

Swallowed the smoke, almost choked
Wear a weirdest grin ever
To fool you that it was just nothing.

A warm hello was finally said
Whew, I stammered
Lucky I am, you didn’t notice
I can’t breathe
Lucky I am, I can handle this.

We started a conversation
That seems to go nowhere but
Silence

My minds lucid
My heartbeats racing
Perfect, I acted normal.

Didn’t you notice that, I’m tryin to be normal
Screwed up
In regret I am now.

april 21 08

wait and bleed

2008-04-20T10:40:00.010+08:00

halos madurog na utak ko kaka-analisa ng auto parts fit. whew..pansamantalang lunurin ang sarili sa mga musikang nakakabingi.
nanahimik... nagiisip... nagsosolo...
nakinig ng radyo..

biglang ng gm(group message) sa ym si gino. ang sabi "If you have known somebody you wanna give slap on a face who would that be and why?" (itama nyo ko kung mali pagkakabaybay..basta yan ang pagkakaintini ko).

hindi ko napigilan ang aking mga daliri nagtatype ako ng sagot ko sa random question.
tsuk..
sent..
abah..sampal lang ba ang hinihingi, pwede bang durugin ang mukha ng taong nabanggit ko. hihi. (nagpapasaway ka na naman vianca, baka naman gusto mo umani ulit ng sandmakmak na IR).
har har, IR ulit ito.

nagnilay nilay. nag-isip ulit. mag-busy busyhan.
nag-aral ulit ng auto parts fit.
inaantok na.
pinalitan ang playlist. nag old-school rock metal na lang.

nabigla.halos sikuhin ako ng malakas ni tristan. ang sabi "bat mo sinabi". ito naman si tanga nagtanong "ang alin tris??".
sabay napatingin sa screen may ng pm(personal message) ng team mates.
team8_5: sana hindi narinig ni dems.
team8_2: gino: i wanna spank badass cause of power trippings says lvjdong

nyay...

inalis ko ang aking earphone.
wapak!! naka-loud speaker pala ang cellphone ni team8_4 at nakikinig ang buong team ng rx.
whew... natawa ako bigla. nagpapanik ang buong sambayan.

team8_1: bakit ikaw lang ang nabanggit. lahat kami sumagot dun eh.

binulungan ako ni team8_2: "ang tanga mo". sabay ngisi.

kung tutuusin, wala nang ibang lalakas pa sa apog ko. opinion lang naman lahat ng iyon. masama ba? nagagalit na ba?eh guilty sya.

P.S.
lipat na sa pang-umaga si arcie. hmmm. nag-iiyak sya kasi mamimiss ang tropa.mamimiss din namin sya.pero malamang aantayin lang naman sya in the morning.

hmm. ako kaya kelan lilipat?? (oist viankikay wag nang mag-daydreaming magkakatigyawat ka nyan)

_blank_

2008-04-14T16:37:00.006+08:00

im missing someone...let me guess who??
wahhh....

i guess it's YOU

recently talked ( or chat I mean) to my best friend
everything changed. But no matter what she's definitely one of binary codes that come and go inside my e-brain. never a day or week that i ask myself how is she doin' or feelin' right now.
though she forgot about me (huhuh emoticon ito). She focused on her new life’s chapter.

I missed the moment we getaway, stayed in a beach resort, talked chit-chat laugh and reminiscent all night long. We jumped off against wave until we get drowned laughing. We gossip and laugh at other peoples gaffe (yeah we’re bad). We stayed home overnight talking about our sorrows, pains and heart aches. We even managed to dream for the future adventure. Hmmm…I know we’re still dreaming.

Hey yeah.. len I missed yah!! I swear I do….

»»» Welcome to Éxistence «««

2008-04-11T12:39:00.005+08:00

Just a very tiring day yesterday, I spent the whole day buying my bros needs for his training (he’s going to be a marine yey) and getting his requirements done. I was amazed with my bro as we face the hard time convincing the lawyer to permit us process his affidavit, his tears fell down. Hmm…”hey brad what’s happening?” I asked. Well he said he’s tryin’ to act as if he’s tough and all while he’s not and he’ll going to miss us while on training. Coz you know what? There’s definitely no communication from this day on until a month, then next three months, and definitely no music, argg. I can’t stand that. Well it’s time for him to facade what life is outside school campus, outside real world.

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(*sigh)

I reach the office the almost late. GY (grave yard shift again) I felt wasted and all. I fell asleep most of the time (Shh..Please keep it a secret), so to keep my brain kickin’ I decided to read sWÉnny Teej’s half the world away. Then, when my brain cells starts arguing against each other that’s the time I study about engine and other car parts. By the way sWÉnny Teej (TJ Cafuir) is my idol in blogging world (definitely not inday hahaha).

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Whew.. as the clock ticks the minutes away, my heads spinning faster.

Welcome to existence vianca. My vein is morbid now and it doesn’t feel fine this time. I felt like I wanna drown myself with beers and norah jones or Michael bublÉ's ♫ in the background. I want a beer “in a cup of tea moment” type. Alone or with friends. I wanna laugh out this anxiety and exhaustion to make me feel relax and ready to start four stroke engine of my life, again.

Intake the energy, good break and good knowledge all the time, to keep yourself ready for everything

Compress the obtained energy, good vibes and knowledge by putting self encouragement and accepting challenge.

Combustion phase. Fire my ego to boost my aptitudes and fighting "pilit" against every harm or trial.

Exhaust. There you go vianca. Release revenue to whatever/whenever it is needed (with good cause).

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I honestly need a break. Hope my friends will join me when I ask for a La Union get away. Let’s try surfing (right vince?)

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